


Victoria's Secret Will Never Be the Same

by Jassy



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 20:10:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jassy/pseuds/Jassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor hasn't been properly respectful of Jane's academic accomplishments.  This was a mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Victoria's Secret Will Never Be the Same

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my fault. This was inspired by a manip that showed up on my facebook page. My bestie said 'you wouldn't dare' which of course meant that I had to.

Thor glanced back and forth between the two women in front of him.  His beloved Jane’s eyes were gentle but steely.  Amora’s gaze was faintly vindictive.  The part of his brain that usually only spoke to him in battle was screaming at him to run away.

He had never had any part of him desire to run away before.  Run TO, certainly.  Away was a new thing, and it made him uneasy.  “What is wrong, my Jane?  Tell me what has distressed you so, I shall go forth and vanquish it!”

His beloved Jane rolled her eyes.  “That! That right there is what distresses me, Thor.  The idea that I am too pretty, and delicate to take care of myself.”

“You’re a chauvinistic pig,” Amora added.

Thor froze.  Mostly because he didn’t know the word chauvinistic, but it didn’t sound good.  “I do not understand,” he said carefully.  Perhaps he should consider buying Jane flowers?  Women loved flowers.  Or perhaps chocolates.  About once a month, Clint bought a very large box of chocolates for Natasha.  It seemed to keep the Black Widow appeased in some way.

“Thor, when you introduce me, you always introduce me as ‘my lovely Jane’ or ‘my beloved Jane’ and while I’m glad that you think I’m pretty and that you love me, I worked damn hard for my doctorate.  When you describe me to people, somehow it’s always how lovely and sweet I am, rather than how smart and clever.  I am a genius, you know,” she said with a sniff.  “My work is _groundbreaking_.  There are a bare handful of people who even come close to understanding it.  On those occasions where you brag about things that I’ve done, it’s always ‘Jane made me a most wondrous meal this morning!’ or something.”

“Yes?”  Thor looked at her helplessly.

“You’re objectifying her, moron,” Amora snapped. 

“Oh, forget it.”  Jane waved her hands.  “He’s never going to get it.  He’s a prince, he’s fought many battles, blah blah blah.  He’s never been reduced to nothing but his body…” Jane trailed off, eyeing him thoughtfully.  She took Amora’s arm and drew her off to the side, where they whispered for several moments, shooting him frightening little looks.  Amora grinned and Jane looked pleased.  With a little gesture, Thor found himself…elsewhere.

~

Tony strolled into the living room, sipping a glass of scotch.  “What are you watching?” he asked Clint and Bruce.

“The new Victoria’s Secret line,” Clint told him.

Tony instinctively looked for Natasha before sliding onto the couch beside the other two.  “Sweet!”  He took a handful of the popcorn that Bruce offered him, and they watched the parade of models in silence.  Then….

“Sweet mother of God,” Bruce whispered.  Clint choked on a piece of popcorn, while Tony did a  spittake with fifty year old scotch as he paused the program.  “Is that…it can’t be!”

“The pink kinda works for him,” Tony observed, rather reluctantly.

“And the wings,” Clint agreed. 

In fact, everything about the model currently on the screen worked.  Except the face that topped the amazing body, because there had never been a model with that much facial hair before. 

“Was this Loki?  Did his brother do this to him, do you think?” Bruce wondered.

Shrugging, Tony lifted his head and yelled, “Loki!”

There was a swirl of green mist, then Loki appeared in the living room.  He was dressed in a pair of cotton pajama pants and one of Tony’s long sleeved t-shirts, and looked fairly cross.  “What?  I was reading, and….” His eyes finally landed on the screen and grew very large.  A flush brightened his normally pale skin, and his shoulders began to shake.  Finally, he started to laugh.  He doubled over with the laughter, holding his middle with one hand while supporting himself on the back of the couch with the other.

“So, this wasn’t you, then,” Tony observed.  Still laughing too hard to speak, Loki just shook his head. 

Natasha walked in holding her phone and wearing a puzzled expression as she stared at it.  “Fury just called.  He wants Loki arrested for ruining an American icon.  I think he may have been fighting tears.”  She looked up and froze briefly as she caught sight of the image frozen on the television.  “Oh.”

“I’m a little disturbed that Fury watches the Victoria’s Secret pageant.  I thought he was an android sent from the future to fuck with us,” Tony muttered.  Bruce snorted.

Steve walked in.  “Hey guys, what are you – oh my goodness!” He spun so his back was to the television.  “What are you people watching?!”

“Thor is a super model now, apparently,” Clint said helpfully.

“But why is it paused?  We shouldn’t be looking at that!”

Tony, Bruce, and Clint had a brief, complicated conversation with their eyes as they each tried to convince one of the others to explain the situation to Captain America.  Bruce and Clint teamed up to make Tony do it.

Rolling his eyes, Tony turned to face Steve.  “Look, Cap, Thor was seen by hundreds of people when he walked down the runway.  He was seen by millions more on the television.  He’s modeling underwear, that’s kind of the point.  He’s no more indecent than anyone wearing swimwear.”

“That’s not the point!  He’s our teammate, and I doubt that he asked to be turned into an underwear model.  We shouldn’t be looking.”  Captain America refused to turn around to deliver the scolding, which really rather took any possible sting out of it.

“And yet he still has Mjolnir, so if he were really objecting, he could deal with it,” Tony pointed out.  Steve just huffed, shoulders vibrating with righteous disapproval.  “Okay, okay fine.  Whatever.”  Tony reached for the remote but shot the others a quick wink.  “Jarvis, I want every second of Thor’s catwalk debut recorded and burned to blu-ray, please,” he said under his breath.  The lights flickered slightly in acknowledgement. 

“Thank you.”  Steve turned around, one eye peeking cautiously at the screen until he was sure the image was gone.  “Now, what are we going to do about this?  Loki, would you _please_ stop laughing?”

Loki took a few deep breaths, fanning his face with one hand as he wrestled his laughter under control.  “What – heehee – just what do you propose that we do, Captain?”

“Well, can’t you turn him back to normal?”

“Not without knowing what kind of spell it is.  For that, I have to see him in person.”  Loki shrugged, unconcerned.

“So, nothing to be done until Thor gets here.  So we wait.  Um, Tasha?  You might want to call Fury back and assure him that Loki had nothing to do with this.  I really don’t feel like dealing with the repairs if he decides you’re taking too long on that arrest and comes himself,” Tony suggested.

Natasha glared at her phone.  “Do I have to?  What if he’s still _crying_?”

“Go down to headquarters and knock him out?”  She glared at him, then reluctantly nodded and wandered off to make the call.

After giving them all a rather baffled, and slightly disappointed look, Steve followed her out.

Bruce shook his head.  “That boy needs to get laid.  What?” he said when the other three gave him startled looks.  “Like you weren’t all thinking it.”

“Yes, but you’re the nice, if easy-going one,” Clint said.

“Who turns into a giant green rage monster.  I have layers.”

By unspoken agreement, the four of them hung around the living room, just waiting.  After a few hours, their patience was finally rewarded with Jarvis’ announcement that ‘Miss Odinson has returned.’  A couple minutes later, Thor trudged in.  He – she – was still dressed in the pink underwear set that she had modeled on stage, not to mention the heels and fake wings.  The wings were pretty well tattered, no doubt by the high winds of her flight.  Mjolnir drooped in a weak grip as Thor favored them with a woebegone expression.  “I do not understand the purpose of these wings they made me wear.  They are too flimsy to lift me in flight.”

Tony sucked in and bit the insides of his cheeks.  Beside him on the couch, he could see Loki’s fingers digging into the butter soft leather hard enough to tear.  Clint had sunk down and covered his face with one hand, shoulders shaking.

Bruce cleared his throat.  “They’re decoration, Thor.  Ornamental, meant to imply the wearer is angelic.”

“I see.”  Thor reached back and ripped the things off.  “I have angered my beloved Jane.  She conspired with the enchantress Amora to alter my form in this fashion.  I am not sure you have noticed, but I am currently female.”

“Kinda hard to miss, Big Guy,” Tony managed.

“Indeed.  Brother, are you able to undo Amora’s spell?”  Thor widened his eyes pleadingly.

“I won’t do that, Thor.”

“Ah, you fear retribution at her hands.  Or perhaps you are simply not powerful enough.  It is alright, I forgive you.”

Loki snorted.  “Did you…did you just try to manipulate me into getting angry and changing you back?”

Tony clapped.  “Baby’s first emotional blackmail!  Jarvis, take a picture of this moment.”

Thor drooped further.  “I am not enjoying this day.  Or this form.”

“Why don’t you sit down and tell us what happened?”

“Very well.  My feet ache anyway.  These shoes are most uncomfortable.”  Thor trudged over to the recliner and flopped down, legs carelessly splayed.  “Jane requested I meet with her.  She said that we needed to talk.”  Tony winced.  Clint winced.  Bruce winced.  Loki, surprisingly, winced.  “It did not go well.  Amora was there.  Jane complained that I praised her virtues.  When I did not understand, they conversed, and Amora cast this spell upon me and I was transported to a theater.  There were many very tall women there, and I was made to dress like this and walk upon a stage in front of many people.  I am not certain of the purpose for this, nor do I know who this Victoria is or what her secret may be that we all seemed to be extoling.  I thought about protesting, but as it seemed so important to Jane that I engage in these activities, I obeyed.  When the pageant was finished, I attempted to leave.  The theater was surrounded by many people.  Most of them were men.  Many seemed to want to speak with me and obtain my autograph, but they had no interest in my words.  They seemed only to want to check the fit of my apparel.  Some of them pinched me on my backside.”  Thor turned to kneel on the seat and lowered the waistband of her panties.  Several bruises decorated her posterior.  She flipped back around and sprawled in the seat again.  “I grew impatient with their poor manners and flew home.  I still do not understand the purpose of all of this.”

Loki shook his head in disgust.  “Thor, you absolute idiot.  At any point were the words ‘objectify or chauvinistic’ thrown around?”

Thor brightened slightly.  “Yes, they used both those words.”

“I’ve heard how you talk about Dr. Foster.  I’d say this was a long time coming.  Rest assured, I will _not_ be undoing Amora’s spell.  It rather serves you right.”

“But you do not understand how unpleasant this is!” Thor protested. 

Loke took a breath and his body was enveloped in a green mist.  When the mist cleared, Loki stood there, breathtakingly female, cotton pants riding low on curved hips, t-shirt stretched tightly over full breasts.  “I understand quite well what it is to be female.  I’ve been able to shape shift since we were children.”

“Neat trick,” Tony said, gaze caught on the stretched t-shirt.  He looked up to meet Loki’s gaze.  “Play that game often?”

“When it suits my purposes, yes.”  Loki pointed a finger at her bro – sister.  “I will change you back if, and only if, Dr. Foster requests it of me.  Until then, you get to learn what it is to be a woman.  I suspect that there is a particular lesson in this, rather than any kind of punishment.  Try _thinking_ for a change.  I know it hurts, but at least make the attempt.”

“In the meantime,” Tony said, “I’ll have more appropriate clothes provided for you.  You can’t really run around in your underwear.  If you go out in public like that, you’ll be arrested.  And if you walk around the Tower like that, you’ll give Steve a nose bleed.”

“You’ve had a very long day.  Why don’t you go take a nice hot bath and go to bed?” Bruce suggested.  Thor nodded and got up to trudge to her room. 

“Okay, someone please remind me of this the next time I’m arguing with Dr. Foster.”  Tony shuddered.  “I really don’t think I have the legs to carry off the whole supermodel thing.  And those heels look dangerous.”

Clint snickered.

Tony eyed Loki again.  “Are you going to stay like that?  Thor might think you’re trying to be supportive or something.”

“What, are you telling me you don’t like it?”  Loki put her hands on her hips and gave him a frosty look.

“What’s not to like?  About either form?”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Bruce muttered.  He and Clint got up and hurried from the room.  Tony watched them go, then turned back to leer at the god of mischief.

“Well, which form do you prefer?” Loki demanded.

Tony shrugged.  “Whichever, really.  You’re usually male, so I get the feeling you generally consider yourself male.  I kinda like your usual face.”

“I simply find it suspicious that we’re suddenly discussing my body only now, now that you know I can shapeshift.”

Tony stood up and stepped into her personal space.  Leaning forward, he whispered in her ear, “We’ve been dancing around this for a while, and you know it.  And we’re talking about your body now that you’ve wrapped it in one of _my_ shirts.”

“Oh!”  Loki glanced down at her chest looking faintly embarrassed.  “I had forgotten, actually.”

“It’s kinda hot, Loki.  So what do you think?  Shall we go someplace more comfortable, and you can slip back into your usual form so we can….”  Tony whispered several suggestions for how they could occupy their time into her ear.  Loki snapped her fingers with a grin and transported them to Loki’s bedroom.

The next morning, Tony wandered into the communal kitchen, nodding blearily at Thor and Steve.  Thor shook off her bleak mood long enough to glare.  “Man of Iron, that is _Loki’s_ shirt.  Did you defile my sister?”

Tony blinked at her as he reached for the coffee.  “Nope.  But your _brother_ defiled the hell out of _me_.  Still a woman, I see, huh?”

Steve made a strangled noise.  “Tony!  That’s not – we don’t want to hear about your intimate relations, alright?”

“What?  She asked!  And it’s not like I gave out details, although I should.  It was educational, even for me.”  He smiled blissfully in remembrance.  Thor let her head thunk to the table, snapping Tony out of it.  “Oh, right, forgot.  Hey, Jarvis, any word on Thor’s new clothes?”

“Indeed, sir.  Several packages have just arrived and are being brought up.”

“Did you hear that, you can change into regular clothes in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.  This bra is most uncomfortable.  There seem to be wires of some kind digging into my flesh.”  Thor straightened and opened the fluffy robe she was wearing.  Underneath, she still wore the bra and panty set that she had modeled.  “See?  Right here.”  She pulled the edge of the bra aside to show a red mark where the underwire had dug in.  “Why do women wear such devices?”

“Not a clue.  Although I’m pretty sure that it’s not supposed to do that, so maybe that one just doesn’t fit quite right.  Maybe you can ask Natasha later.  She has more experience from that side of things than I do.”

“Thor, could you _please_ not flash us your private parts?” Steve hissed.  “I don’t want to see your – your bosom!”

Thor scowled balefully.  “I am injured, Captain.  Am I not supposed to report injuries?”

“Well, yes, but…”

Chuckling to himself, Tony left the kitchen and headed for the elevator, where one of the receptionists/guards had just arrived with a number of bags and boxes bearing the labels of designer boutiques.  Tony grinned cheerfully at him.  “This day is starting out pretty well, don’t you think?”

“If you say so, sir.  Will you be needing anything else, Mr. Stark?”

“Nah, I don’t think so.  Jarvis, are there any more packages due to arrive?”

“No, sir.”

“Great!  Thanks, buddy, we’re good here.”  The guard nodded and stepped back into the elevator.  Overcome with curiosity, Tony peeked in the bags.  “Jarvis, remind me of how awesome you are the next time I bitch when you’re forcing me to stop working and eat.” 

“Indeed, sir.”  The AI sounded smug.

Tony carried the packages to Thor’s room, then stopped back in the kitchen to inform her that her clothes were waiting.  Then he hightailed it back to Loki’s room, where Loki was just waking up.  “Hurry it up, lazybones,” he urged.  “Your sister is about to make her debut in her new clothes.  You _don’t_ want to miss it.”

Loki glared at him.  “What could be so important that you’re making me miss morning sex for?”

“My AI has the best sense of humor.  Trust me,” he said.  “Jarvis, would you tell the others that they might want to head to the kitchen right about now?”  The AI hummed an affirmative.

Within minutes, all the Avengers minus Thor, plus Loki, were gathered in the kitchen.  Thor trudged in and Clint choked a bit on his bagel.  Thor was dressed – barely – in a hot pink mini-skirt, topped with a clingy white tank top.  She wore another pair of high heels, this time white strappy sandal things.  She was glaring at her feet.  “How do Midgardian females tolerate this footwear?”

“They’re fashionable,” Natasha said.  “And we have strong ankles and excellent balance.”

Loki leaned over to whisper in Tony’s ear, “This was, indeed, worth getting up for.  We need to make her _squirm_.”  Tony hid his grin behind his cup of coffee.

The following days were filled with carefully crafted tortures.  Steve was the best for that, without even knowing it.  Thor presented, save for the face, as a beautiful, delicate woman.  He couldn’t help himself from opening doors, fetching things from high shelves, and pulling out chairs.  Clint, at Natasha’s urging, joined in on the act.  Tony and Bruce mostly watched from the sidelines.  Tony’s first instinct was to make certain that Thor was leered at as much as possible, because hello! Kind of the point.  But he didn’t want to piss off Loki, so he reined himself in and simply made sure to take Thor places where other guys would do it for him.  Strangers, it seemed, didn’t see the bearded face, and had no problems whistling and making crude remarks.  Bruce got his own digs in, in a bit more subtle way.  Whenever Thor would strike up a conversation, Bruce would demure on the grounds that he had ‘important work to do, you wouldn’t understand’ and retreat to his lab.

After a week, Thor was beyond miserable.  She finally sought Tony out in his lab, where he was working on upgrades to some of Clint’s arrows.  “Friend Tony, I would like to have words with you.” 

Tony looked up, then immediately jumped up to clear off a chair for her.  He even went so far as to wipe the seat off with a rag, so as to avoid getting any dirt on Thor’s skirt.  Thor glared, fingers flexing.  “What’s the matter, sweetheart?”

“That!”  Thor pointed a manicured finger at the chair, then at Tony.  “We are shield-brothers!  I have come here many times to have words with you, and you have never been concerned about dirt from your work on the chair before.  You have never called me ‘sweetheart’ before.  Not until this.”  She smacked a hand into her chest, indicating her impressive bosom.  “Captain Rogers seems to think me incapable of the simplest of tasks, Natasha often lectures me on the appropriate way to sit while wearing this garb, and Clint has not looked above my chest even once.  Every time I accompany you somewhere, there are men who make the crudest of comments with no regard for my feelings or thoughts.”

“They admire you only for your body, not for any of your heroic deeds and accomplishments,” Tony said sympathetically. 

“Yes!  Dr. Banner has been acting like I have no brain,” she added, glowering.  “I may not understand your ‘science’, but always before, he was pleased to explain things to me.  He no longer is.”

“And…what would you like me to do about it?” Tony asked carefully.  Female or no, Thor still had her strength.  If he laughed, he didn’t like his chances of _not_ getting punched through the wall.

“Speak with Loki, please?  Perhaps you can sway him into undoing this spell.”  Thor slumped into the chair.  After a moment, she remembered and crossed her legs.

“I doubt it.  And please don’t suggest that I withhold sex until he does.”  Thor sighed and drooped a little further in her seat.  “Thor, have you considered that this is exactly what Jane was hoping you’d learn?”  Thor straightened, looking attentive.  “Look, I won’t pretend that I understand what it’s like to be a woman.  Or at least a woman here on Midgard.  From what I’ve seen, it’s not easy.  Things have improved as far as gender equality goes, but there’s still a long way to go.  Pepper runs my company, and she does it better than I could.  She still has to fight twice as hard for half the respect from our so called peers.  The same is true for Jane.  She is one of the most brilliant scientists in the world, but most of her work is dismissed because she’s female.”  Tony thought about it for a moment.  “Well, that, and most of the scientists in her field just aren’t smart enough to understand it, so they dismiss it as fanciful drivel.  Her deeds are of less importance than what kind of plumbing she’s got.  It’s bad enough to get that at work.  But then you only added to it, even without realizing it.”

“But I do not understand her work,” Thor pointed out.  “How does one properly brag about things one doesn’t understand?”

“Do you understand Loki’s magic?”

Thor pursed her lips.  “Not very well.  I have no gift of mage craft, so I did not study more than the basics.”

“But you manage to brag him up.  You talk about how skilled and powerful he is.  You should be able to do the same for Jane.  You know, because not only she but those of us with even a passing knowledge of her field have told how you brilliant her work is.  Brag about her the way you do Loki and it will show Jane that you respect all of her, not just her ability to cook and look good in tight jeans.”

“I can do that.”  Thor brightened, the light of understanding finally shining in her big blue eyes.  “How do I assure Jane of this?”

“Grovel, Thor.  You treated Jane like all the men have been treating you this past week.  Grovel and beg her forgiveness.”

Thor didn’t look thrilled over the idea of groveling, but apparently realized that Tony was right.  She trudged out of his workshop, mumbling snippets of apologies under her breath.

Later that evening, Jane and a still female Thor walked into the dining room while the team plus Loki were eating.  Jane smiled awkwardly around.  “Hey, uh, we have a little problem.  Thor has assured me that he understands my perspective now, but Amora refused to undo the spell.  Um, Loki, would you be able to help?”

“I am able to, yes.”  Loki calmly kept eating, fingers deft on the chopsticks, unholy amusement lighting his eyes.

Jane’s lips thinned.  “Will you please undo the spell Amora put on him?”

“Are you quite certain you want me to?  You have no desire to…play with Thor’s current assets?  And, Thor, really.  There are advantages to the female form that I don’t think you’ve properly explored.”

Jane shook her head.  “I’m completely straight,” she explained.  “I mean, if this were permanent, I would do everything I could to make it work because I love Thor, but I would much prefer him as a him.”

“Oh, very well.”  Loki stood up, a sly little smile on his face.  Tony looked at where Thor stood, dressed in a tiny skirt and a stomach baring top, and thought he understood.  He made certain that he didn’t have food in his mouth as green light sprang up around Loki’s hand.  Loki tossed it and it flowed over Thor like water.  Thor resumed his own shape all at once, and Captain America started to choke.  The skirt had torn and fallen away, leaving Thor in a lace thong that barely hung in there.  The top had stretched almost but not quite to the ripping point.  It was tight enough, however, that the outline of the bra Thor had been wearing was clearly visible, and clearly had ripped in a couple different places.  He still wore the strappy heels, although the straps dug in.

He looked beyond ridiculous.

Clint sprayed half-chewed sweet and sour over the table and fell out of his chair, laughing.  Natasha got up and left abruptly.  As soon as the door closed behind her, the loudest laugh that Tony had ever heard from her rang out.  Bruce removed his glasses and covered his eyes with one hand, shoulders shaking.

Tony stood up and walked over to Loki.  Face very serious, he got down on one knee.  “Marry me,” he said reverently.

 

 


End file.
